Category: Travellers’ Tales

Thumbs

My thumbs have mostly recovered.  But I’ll likely have to be careful for a while to prevent any serious damage.  Should’ve downloaded Swype ages ago…

Diva Cup

Success!  Like most things, it’s easy once you know how.  It pays for itself in less than a year, makes taking supplies everywhere a thing of the past and, best of all, it’s kind to the environment.  Please do try one, or tell someone about it.

Travelling list

“Is your whole life in that bag?”

“Your bag is so small!”

“Is that all the stuff you’ve got?”

Travelling light is the way to go. It meant I never had to leave my pack unless I wanted to, gave me flexibility and made moving around infinitely more comfortable (and, therefore, enjoyable).  Many commented, most said they’d wished they’d packed less and nobody said they hadn’t packed enough.

Context is everything

Rudy is fluent in English. But he’s not a native speaker. What this means in reality is not that he doesn’t know the words, or indeed the phrases, but that sometimes the timing or context isn’t quite right. We’d finished our breakfast and, over a couple of cups of tea (me) and coffee (him) were trying to fight the lethargy to start the day. Rudy got up out of his chair, nodded his head towards the exit and said: “Come on, you miserable piece of sh*t”. It didn’t help – I couldn’t stand up for laughing.

Swype

Swype is an app that enables you to slide between letters on a soft keyboard rather than tapping each one. I wish I’d downloaded it earlier – maybe it would have saved my thumbs (and a lot of time). If I did this trip again, though, I’d bring a laptop.

RAOKs

Sorry chaps, there’s a definite gender split – whilst men and women are just as likely to scam you, RAOKs are much more likely to be committed by a female. So far the ratio is 6:1. Not statistically significant, I’ll grant you, but very noticeable at ground level.

Masks

Not only do Chinese often wear masks to protect against pollution, they are effective (apparently) at reducing dust inhalation when riding a scooter. People also wear them when they have a cold (or similar) to reduce transmission. What a good, and thoughtful, idea.

Portion size

In Asia, I’ll often be served a slightly smaller portion than the men I’m with. Not sure whether it’s deliberate or subconscious, but it’s quite noticeable, even though the difference is small. Sensible, but not exactly gender equal. Not a problem at the moment, but if I was doing all my usual exercise, it wouldn’t be welcome.

Diva cup

I really wanted to be able to report huge success. I really did. Because it could be an amazing solution. But I have to report mixed results. I can now tell when it’s in correctly, thus preventing messy situations, but I have yet to master the insertion technique. And my “no Caucasians, no fertility” theory remains unproven as I’ve been travelling with a Belgian man and normal service has a resumed. Verdict: inconclusive.
Bins in toilets

They don’t flush tissue. Even in Hong Kong. Sensible – apparently it’s a real problem when treating waste water. And our society’s “thicker, softer, stronger” trajectory isn’t helping. Everywhere here has a bin. Might adopt this approach upon my return to reduce the risk of a blockage and do my bit to assist.

The bum gun

It’s gone! Argh! It took a little while to get comfortable with it, but now it’s not there, I miss it. And, whilst we’re on the toilet subject (again), I’d just like to point out that squat toilets facilitate the whole process. If you know what I mean. For those that are able to get up afterwards. And get down in the first place (which, of course, everyone would be able to do if they’d done it since childhood). It took ages to get used to it, but I can now understand those notices I photographed early in my trip instructing people not to climb onto throne toilets – if it’s what you’ve always been used to, it’s the only way to go. Pun intended.

Big bags on public transport

When you buy a ticket on a bus, train or mini van it seems to give you unlimited luggage space for no additional cost. I’ve travelled with TVs, dozens of crates of beer, chickens and dogs. I reasoned that we could save some money and suggested to Rudy that I travel in his rucksack. One man got on our bus with three large sacks of I-don’t-know-what. As he disembarked, he suddenly remembered them. “Yep, don’t forget Grandma,” said Rudy.

Privacy

Chinese have different norms for privacy. I’m not going to go on about the toilets again, but that’s one example. Another is sitting at the same table as you in a restaurant without even acknowledging our presence. Rude people are all over the world, and I won’t judge China on them, but I did wonder whether this was, in fact, just the way things are here.

Chinese writing

Beautiful but really slow to write. Because you have to take your pen off the paper so often, unlike Latin script that you can write “joined up”. And the digital signs are made up of lots of dots, rather than the 18 dashes required for our letters.

Bites

I’ve been bitten. But not by a mozzie (they don’t itch). Five big bites on my face. Thanks.

Photo bombing

I’m getting used to people wanting me in their pictures. Joining someone’s selfie is met with a smile. I must remember that English people and tourists in the UK may not feel the same way. I must stop photo bombing, I must stop photo bombing, I must stop…

Chinese food

Chinese food is nothing like what you get in Chinese restaurants/takeaways at home – it’s much spicier, uses less meat that’s cut into small pieces, sometimes involves cheese and fried egg (which I’ve never seen in England) and is much, much less gloopy (this is A Good Thing). Fried rice is the only dish that is similar. When I return, I’m going to China Town in London again – to see it through fresh, more experienced, eyes 🙂

Toilets

We need to talk about toilets.  Sorry, but if I have to go through this, you’re coming with me 😉

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I never thought that the toilets in China would be worse than those in the poorer SE Asian countries I’d already visited.  And it’s not just the facilities, but the social norms that have really challenged me.  Their lack of privacy is astonishing and disconcerting (although does support what one of my piano teachers had said about never returning to live in China because of the lack of personal space – everyone expects to know everything about their neighbours’ lives).  It brings new meaning to the phrase “public conveniences”:

But worse than this is the lack of hygiene.  As you can see in the first photo, there’s a channel that runs along/around the room over which people squat.  Every minute or so, a jet of what I assume is disinfectant is squirted along the channel.  But the, er, “heavier stuff” doesn’t always “go with the flow”, so to speak.  So you’re usually presented with the remnants of someone else’s breakfast.  Euwwww! I’m not that squeamish but this is gross.  And it’s not just the communal loos, either – this is what I encountered when I popped to the loo on the waterfalls tour:

Not much this week, but a note from SE Asia that I forgot about. Can’t verify yet whether it applies to China.

Backpack sizes

Someone’s worked out that the higher the number, the more they’re worth. What they haven’t figured out is that it’s related to the size. So you get small day packs with labels saying “65”. Useful when assessing whether it’s genuine or not, though 🙂

Planning

I’ve developed a technique for itinerary planning: arrive at a new place, find the travel agents, see what they’re advertising and then do it independently 🙂

Laos

A summary:

• Kind, friendly, open people
• Hard beds, harder pillows
• UXO has a lot to answer for
• Chocolate brownies (well, in Luang Prabang, at least)
• More advanced than people had led me to believe
• I want to come back some time

Wall tiles

Wall tiles are for walls. Putting them on the floor makes things very slippery. Please reconsider.

A Spanish saying

The Spanish guy on the bus to China told me a great response when he’s given an impossible request at work: “I have a deal with Jesus: he doesn’t do marketing, and I don’t do miracles.” Gotta remember that one 🙂

OMB

Asians have heard westerners saying “Oh my God”, but they don’t have a god, as such. So they’ve rephrased it. From now on, when I’m surprised you’ll hear me say “oh my Buddha”!

Maps

Most SE Asians can’t read maps. You can tell from the panic on their face when you put one in front of them and ask where something is. It took a while for me realise that they can’t even tell where they are on the map. I wonder whether this is linked to general education and literacy – a privilege that we take for granted is still a dream for many here. Yet another paradigm shift for my first-world brain.

Grey hairs

I thought she was carefully picking out nits from the lady’s hair and reasoned that medication may not be available here. Turns out she was painstakingly removing grey hairs with tweezers and placing them delicately on her other hand. It explains why many older women here are bald.

School uniform

That students in Laos wear school uniform is not that interesting. But that all schools have the same uniform is. Wherever I’ve seen pupils they’re wearing the same dark trousers (males ) or dark blue skirt with a light, patterned band around the bottom (females), and a white shirt. Good idea, really – maybe it reduces the tribal instinct that afflicts many English schoolchildren (me included) and the conflicts it engenders (me not included).

Portion size

Laotians are slightly porkier than their SE Asian counterparts (another indication that the country is not as “behind” as people say), but still a lot more slender than the average Brit. Moderate portion sizes could explain this – they’re about two thirds of a “normal” UK portion, which is enough to feel full but too much to need a second helping. It makes eating less much easier than at home.

Wi-Fi and computers

You may already have worked out from the lack of posts that Wi-Fi is slow in Laos and computers aren’t so easy to come by as in Vietnam.  Sorry.  I’ll post when I can, and upload the photos after.  I know it’s not the same without the photos, but it just clogs up.  It’s not helped by the WordPress app.  I’ll do my best.

Slogans on T-shirts

Asians like their slogan T-shirts.  You get the usual philosophical musings (“People judge what they don’t understand”), but some are lost in translation or are obviously out-takes, such as:

• Ambrican Girl (worn  by a boy)
• Private stock foh maniac’s (on the back of a jacket)
• F*CK WHAT (there was no asterisk)

I’ll try to make a note of the other ones I see.

Health

This one’s for Mum 🙂 The gentle walking, interspersed with time on the bus, is helping my leg.  Despite lots of rubbing (as taught by the aforementioned), the bruise still isn’t showing.  But there’s still time…

The burn from another motorbike is healing really well and almost gone.  My left thumb is fine, and my right thumb is recovering, but only when I don’t use it much on my phone.  My sit bones hurt.  Every seat in Asia is hard. My sit mat is now getting a lot of use.

I’m craving fizzy drinks.  Those who know me will know how unusual this is.  I think it’s the amount of water that I’m getting through: my taste buds want something different, but also something sugary.  I’m trying to resist as much as possible – habits are easier to form than break 😉

Employment

Most places I’ve been, I’ve had to buy a ticket which is then checked… about 5 metres from where I bought it!  On some occasions, they’ve actually watched me buy the ticket.  I laugh, they laugh.  Employment for all 🙂

Pack size

This is the size of almost everyone’s pack:

Most I’ve spoken to wished they’d packed less…

 

This week’s round-up of observations and things that I forgot to mention:

Vietnamese driving

I’m now immune to Vietnamese driving.  On the journey to and from Ha Long Bay (where there was a greater number of tourists doing organised tours, or pre-booked “highlights-only” itineraries) lots of people were commenting, but I didn’t see what the big deal was.  Whilst they were fretting about the driver over-taking on blind bends, on-coming traffic in our lane and near misses, I was drinking in the scenery.

Health and risks

Further to the above, it occurred to me that the biggest risk to my health and safety is when I get home.  Must remember that in England, I can’t walk out into the road and expect the traffic to part around me.  Nor can I cycle the wrong way down a one-way street.  If you see me, please remind me 😉

Museums

They’re not so bad.  Honest.  They’ve tried.  I’m not even sure whether they know anymore how subjective their reporting is – perhaps it’s just so ingrained in them, they don’t notice.  And few will have had the privilege of travelling outside Asia to be able to compare and learn…

Travelling alone

Like anything, there’s advantages and disadvantages.  Some of the stress of Vietnam may have been relieved with someone else to take a bit of the planning load.  People often have better ideas than me, but with no-one else around, I had only mine to use.  And sometimes, especially in the evenings, it’d be nice to have someone to share the experiences with.  On the other hand, I’m more approachable (which, as mentioned, can be a curse as well as a blessing) and I can do whatever I like.  When I’ve had (good) company, I’ve enjoyed it, but also been ready to head off again by myself when the time came.

Losses and breakages

Not too much collateral damage so far, which has been a pleasant surprise.  My spork (well, not exactly a spork, but it’s a spoon on one end and a fork with a serrated edge on the other) broke in half ages ago (over-zealous ice cream eating was to blame, so at least it went in the best possible way) . I lost the fork end within days, but the spoon is still proving very useful, and it’s now smaller so easier to carry around 🙂

My Pitrok deodrant (google it – after a few weeks you’ll be hooked, and each one lasts about three years, no kidding) smashed when I dropped it in my hurry to get out of my first hotel in Hoi An.  But two or three of the remaining pieces are still usable, so I haven’t needed to replace it. (Note: it also has the distinct advantage of not being a liquid, so doesn’t attract attention at airports).

My wallet chain has broken couple of times, but I just hook it on to the next ring and get on with things.

I really can’t think of anything else. Although whilst we’re on the subject, I’ll deviate slightly to a more human angle:

Hai didn’t teach me to get off the motorbike until after I’d burnt my leg on the exhaust pipe.  For those who don’t know, the exhaust pipe of a motorcycle is searingly hot, so I won’t be surprised if it scars.  But it’s almost healed.

The unexpectedly black bruise on my knee, sustained when I slipped on a mossy tile in the downpour at a tomb in Hue is now almost gone.  Shame I didn’t take a photo – it was really impressive.

My left thumb seems to have completed recovered from the smartphone thumb typing, but I’m still a little worried about my right thumb.  It’s not right.  My opposable digits are one of my most important assets, so I’ll probably get it checked out when I get home.  One of the problems is that it’s no longer really bad, so I keep forgetting about it until it starts aching.  More attention required.

Other than that, I’m fine, Mum 🙂