Tourist tax
It’s expensive being white. But, to be fair, it’s because our earnings are higher. But some entrance fees can be up to 20 times what the locals pay.
Roundabouts
In India they call them “circles”. Can’t argue with that. Most of the time.
Gender inequality
Gender inequality is mind-boggling and depressing in equal measure. Exhibit A is a conversation with the owner of one of my hotels:
Me: “How long have you been married?”
Him: “35 years.” *sighs*
Me: “Did you choose your wife, or was it an arranged marriage?”
Pause.
Him: “I chose her.”
Me: “That’s nice. Did she choose you?”
Uncomfortable pause.
Him: “She, er, didn’t really look up.”
I see. That’s a “no” then.
Indian women
In an impressive display of body confidence, Indian women let it all hang out. They wear a short top under their saree, so you can see their stomachs and, in some cases, rolls of fat. They’re very unselfconscious, but this could be because fat is not demonised here like it is at home – it’s a sign of wealth and, in some cases, health.
Sarees also add a splash of colour to the place – they’re sometimes very pretty. The men could try harder, mind.
Communal urinal
Men’s contribution, on the other hand, seems to be to p*ss everywhere. Seriously. I’ve lost count of the number of men I’ve seen weeing up the side of walls, buildings and, well, anywhere really. Stale urine makes the whole place smell like one big urinal.
Gross, unhygenic, disrespectful and unnecessary. And, of course, so much a part of the culture of male-privelege that it’s unlikely to change anytime soon 🙁
Car number plates
Two letters + two numbers + two letters + four numbers
The number plates themselves are of various designs. Early on, the above sequence resulted in the following – it sounds like a stock-exchange announcement:
T-shirt slogans
Total rubbish this one: Happiness is DEBITS = CREDITS.
It should read: Happiness is DEBITS < CREDITS.
Babel fish
In Douglas Adams’ “Hitchhikers’ guide to the galaxy”, he describes a fish – when inserted into the ear, the wearer can understand whatever language is being spoken. Google isn’t far off something similar. And it’s going to be a game-changer.
It’ll mean I can more easily communicate with the locals – and I’m really interested to understand about their lives, hopes, fears and dreams. With their permission, of course.
On the other side of the coin… tourists are at a disadvantage because they rarely speak the local language. This enables tu-ktuk drivers, for instance, to scheme against them… in front of them.
It might be a bit sneaky, but I can’t wait for the first time this happens… and I can understand them.
Helmets
Most drivers wear helmets. Passengers rarely do, but at least the drivers have some sense.
Toilet complex
Not just a block, but a complex. After my dodgy tummy, I fear I’m developing a toilet complex, too.
Tuktuk negotiation
We’re refining our technique. After a rather unsuccessful attempt to haggle the fare back to our hotel, we realised that there was a tuktuk etiquette – whoever approaches the tourists first, gets the ride. Driver A quotes a price and we haggle (in this case, from 600R to 400R). When we ask the others, they quote higher than 400R, so we’ve no choice but to go with it.
So we changed tactic. The key is not letting the tuktuk drivers know what you’ve been quoted. So we first agree a reasonable price and then immediately separate. As we both haggle with different groups, we can play them off against each other – “he’s offering 100R – can you beat that?” – until we get the price we’re after (which, for the record, is always reasonable – we’re not trying to scam them, just get a decent price).
More practice required, but we’re starting to do ok.
Weight loss
I’m one of very few people I know who loses weight when I go on holiday. It’s partly because heat suppresses appetite and, in India, because there’s only so much curry I can take. So I stop eating as soon as I’ve had enough.
I’d weigh myself when I got home, except that I’ve no idea how much I weighed before I left, so it won’t be very informative.